Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful
Thanksgiving Football shopping pumpkin pie fall leaves turkey dinner Family pilgrims blessings cornucopia peace love thankful

One empowered woman's struggle against the world
Thursday April 9th 2020

So You Want To Make A Baby

Here are Mom vs. the World I said I wanted to give real world advice, so that is what I am going to do first and foremost.  I will include additional articles on the ways to track, calculate, chart and otherwise drive yourself insane when trying to make that baby but for the first one, some real world advice for you.

My first piece of advice is to stop all the tracking, calculating, charting and otherwise driving yourself insane.  Seriously that is the first thing you need to do if you are already doing it and here is the reasoning behind it all.


Stress plays a huge role in conception.  If you and your partner are healthy and able to conceive it will happen without all the charting and tracking.  All of that causes stress and anxiety.  Two things are that can and will inhibit getting pregnant.

Stress can affect hormone production in women that is needed to successfully conceive.  It takes a combination of hormones to get everything ready from egg production, a good uterus lining, proper fluids and overall health.  Stress inhibiting those hormones from working properly together or being at the proper levels will make conceiving much more difficult.

If you have tried the tried the tracking, calculating, and charting methods you know they can cause you stress.  Did you forget to take your temperature one day or forget to mark the exact day your period started?  Even if you are perfect at the tracking and charting is it actually correct?  These theories were created on averages and if you are outside the average then you could actually be making conception harder on yourself.

Tracking, Calculating and Charting

There are all kinds of programs and expert advice on how to track and what to track and when to track to conceive.  Unless you are under a doctor’s care who has told you to track these things don’t waste your time.  Even the doctors who do order you to track them, do so to eliminate reasons you aren’t conceiving.  Your general doctor or infertility doctor use the information to see what kind of cycle you have and whether you need assistance with hormone production or cycle regulation.  They don’t have you track to just to conceive. 

The magically 28 day cycle.  Years and years ago doctors realized that the average cycle length is 28 days.  Note that is the average.  Very few women have an exact 28 day cycle and even the ones that do it is not always exactly 28 days every month. 

The 14 day ovulation day is also a myth.  Even if you are one of those women who have the magical 28 day cycle that doesn’t mean you are ovulating on the 14th day.  The average, again that word, is that you ovulate 2 weeks prior to your period.  However, not everyone ovulates exactly 2 weeks prior to their period.  Some women ovulate at 12 days prior or 10 days prior or 16 days prior.  Holding out for that 14thday could be making your window of opportunity every month.

The temperature tracking.  I understand the theory behind this as there is a rise in temperature but there are a million things that can make your temperature fluctuate.  You would need to be under strict conditions to get an exact temperature reading every day.  This is how they tested this method, in hospitals or clinics under strict conditions.  Literally, standing up can make your temperature change, the onset of a cold, the temperature of your home and dozens of other things. 

Cervical fluid tracking.  I love this one.  It is true that the cervical fluids do change throughout your cycle.  It is also try that they become stretchy and like egg whites prior to ovulation.  However, that all being true their are many other things that can affect your cervical fluids.  Certain types of cold medicine will give you that stretchy egg white fluid even though you aren’t about to ovulate.  Your hormone production is what causes the changes in the cervical fluid.  If your hormones are out of balance then so will your cervical fluid production.

It does seem like tracking, calculating and charting is the way to go from the start but the stress and timing involved inhibit you making that baby.  People begin to rely on the charts and tracking as the Holy Grail and don’t have sex or skip having sex figuring they charted correctly and their numbers are right.  By introducing these methods from day one you spend your first 6 months trying with added stresses and issues. 

Stress and anxiety due have a huge negative effect.  You could work yourself up into not getting pregnant.  Then you end up in a fertility specialist office worrying something is wrong delaying things further.  Don’t forget fertility specialist are not cheap and a lot of insurance coverage is non-existent or woefully inadequate.  You don’t need financial stress on top of everything else.

How to Really Make that Baby

Sex!  Have sex and daily.  Stop trying to “have” a baby and start having sex.  No you don’t have to have skip days and store up sperm in your partner.  The key to getting pregnant is to have sperm and egg present at the same time and even then you could NOT conceive.  Let me explain.

Sperm is tough.  Sperm can survive and get to where it needs to be better than you think.  Sperm can live on average 1-3 days.  It only takes 1 sperm to fertilize an egg.  A healthy male produces and ejaculates millions at a time.  Even with having sex once a day there are millions of sperm present in each ejaculation.  It is stated that if a man ejaculates too close together there is not enough time for mature sperm to develop and be present to conceive.  Remember it only takes 1 and sperm live 1-3 days.  Even if you cut that million down to 500,000 thousand that is still plenty of sperm a healthy male can produce that many once a day easily. 

The egg on the other hand is a little more fragile.  The egg only last 12-24 hours.  When you hold off or skip days you could be skipping that 12-24 hour window and have no sperm present to fertilize the egg.  Sperm are tiny little suckers and they have a great distance to travel to get to that egg.  You need sperm and egg present at the same time or you are wasting your time.

If you have sex daily (you could skip a day here or there but try not to) that means every day of your cycle, minus the actual menstrual days (but feel free then as well if you want), you will have sperm present, ready and waiting for that egg.  Daily you will be adding a fresh supply.  Do the basic math.  Here are the numbers I am going to use which are very conservative.  Five hundred thousand sperm a day and we will say half die off each day.

 Day 1 – 500,000 sperm present
 Day 2 – 500,000 new sperm but 1/2 the day 1 sperm die so 250,000 left = 750,000 sperm present
 Day 3 – 500,000 new sperm but 1/2 the day 1 remaining sperm die so 125,000 and 1/2 the day 2 die so 250,000 = 875,000 sperm present
 Day 4 – 500,000 new sperm but all dead from day 1 so 0 and half dead from day 2 so 125,000 and half dead from day 3 so 250,000 left = 875,000 sperm present.
If you keep going and have sex every day there are roughly 875,000 sperm, very conseratively, present from day 3 till your next period starts and you stop having sex.  It only takes 1 sperm to fertilize an egg, I can’t say that enough.  You also have to remember it takes time for the sperm to get to where they need to be.  Even on day 1 of your cycle you will not have all 500,000 sperm in the tubes where they need to be to fertilize that egg.  By the end of day one a good deal will have made the journey.  Day two even more will get there and so on.  Leaving you with a supply of sperm present in the tubes at all times to fertilize that egg when it comes out.     

When you skip days you lower the number of sperm present, ready and waiting to fertilize that egg.  It is better to have guaranteed sperm present, ready and waiting then take chances of there being no sperm there when the egg comes out.  I know it is said that you want to build up a good supply so there are strong sperm waiting but every day you skip is less sperm present.  Ask yourself, do you want to hold off and have super sperm that might miss the egg completely or hundrends of thousands of sperm already there and waiting for the egg? 

You Have Sex Daily But Still Don’t Get Pregnant

Pregnancy is not complicated and it is complicated.  You could have sex daily and still not get pregnant.  The egg that developed might have been genetically bad and not sending off the right signals so the sperm doesn’t fertilize it.  That is a simple answer.  This is the human body at work and nothing you can do about it nor is it anything you have done wrong.  There are other factors as well that you might not be aware of.

Before even trying to conceive you should have had a preconception physical #1 in 5 Things to Think About Before Trying to Conceive.  If the doctor has cleared you as healthy and you have given it 6 months and aren’t pregnant don’t stress over it.  There are many factors at play in even a very healthy couple trying to conceive. 

After 6 months, if you have been having sex daily or pretty much daily then it is time to check back in with the doctor.  Some doctors recommend a year of trying while other only 6 months.  Request to be referred to a fertility specialist or have your own doctor, if they are knowledgable, check you out again focusing specifically on fertility.  You could have a short luteal phase that has been letting you get pregnant but not sustaining the pregnancy, this can happen without you even knowing it.  Luteal phase defects can be corrected in a lot of women.

A fertility doctor may want you to track and chart and at this point do the tracking.  It will help the fertility specialist determine and pin point what the problem may be that is inhibiting you from getting pregnant.  Fertility doctors and even your own general doctor, if knowledgable in the field, can help determine if hormones are out of balance and help correct them.  If sperm production is low or motility of sperm is off the doctor can asses those factors as well.  Some time there are physical defects that wouldn’t show up on a regular preconception check up.  A fertility doctor can find and determine these defects and in a good deal of cases can correct them. 

Don’t stress is important as well.  Stress will further inhibit your chances of conceiving.  Go see a doctor and get the facts before you freak out.  When you want a child it is hard not to freak out when you don’t conceive right away but that doesn’t necessairly mean you won’t ever conceive.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help or feel like you are doing something wrong because you haven’t conceived immediately.

Relax, have sex daily, give it time.  Remember you are trying to create a human life not building a book case.  There are other things you can do to increase your chances, which I will write about in another article, but the best thing you can do is have sperm and egg present at the same time.  You can’t control when the egg is there but you can control when the sperm is, so get it there and tons of it.

Good Luck!  

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor nor am I providing medical advice.  Always check with a licsened medical professional for any and all medical decisions you need to make.  I write articles and a blog based on knowledge gained by living my life, logic and a little common sense.

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