Learning about men, love, sex and relationships has been an on going lesson. I have been in different relationship with men older and younger. I have dated the bad and the good boys. I have seen abuse physically, mentally and emotionally. I sometimes learned from my mistakes and other times didn’t.
I have been down the road and have my share of emotional scars, heart breaks, anger, resentment that have built up through each failed relationship. Like many women I have spent time wondering what is wrong with me. Am I not pretty enough, smart enough, tall enough and the list goes on.
I met the love of my life and for the first time realized that there was nothing wrong me, I just didn’t know how to recognize and appreciate a good man. I stayed in relationships I should have left. I stayed in relationships everyone told me I shouldn’t be in. I thought he will change or I changed myself.
This love of my life is caring, kind, respectful and loving. We both take the greatest pleasure in making the other happy but don’t need the other to make us happy. We share an intimacy that is phenomenal and no it isn’t all about sex when I say intimacy. We don’t judge each other and we support each other even when we don’t necessarily agree. It isn’t a perfect fairy tale, we have had our share of fights and arguments but we have always been able to forgive and make up. They say a woman needs 7 different men in her life to make it complete. He is all 7 of those men rolled into one. He is the lover, comedian, protector, handyman, father, friend, and stylist. Replacing him will take a great deal. It is the kind of love that just grows. It wasn’t forced or carefully crafted it just was one day.
Since meeting my love, I have been able to look back and see clearly all the mistakes I have made. I want to share with you what I have learned from this amazing man who came into my life. I want to share with you some things that will help you determine whether the man you are with is indeed a good man for you. There are a lot of good men out there but that doesn’t always mean he is the right man for you. There are also a lot of bad men out there and they should be avoided because as I have learned, a leopard doesn’t change his spots no matter how much you want them too.
1. There are two types of men: the goods and the bads ones. There is no in-between. Good men don’t turn bad and bad men don’t turn good. The first thing you need to do is learn to tell the difference between the two. Once you have figured out the difference it will greatly improve your dating life as you will be able to eliminate the bads ones right off and stop wasting your time. Stop dating until you can tell the difference.
2. If the guy promises to call you but doesn’t, constantly makes dates and breaks them, can’t ever be on time or plays any kind of games with your emotions; don’t waste another second of your time. Those are clear and distinct warning signs that he doesn’t value and respect you, that he doesn’t care about you and he certainly doesn’t love you.
3. If the guy wants to take you for a test drive don’t waste your time. Relationships shouldn’t start out being about sex. The relationship comes first then sex. If he can’t commit to the relationship without first trying the goods then he not worth your time.
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